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Many people, if they really knew all the words to the Star-Spangled Banner, would have our anthem changed to Free to Be You And Me.

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Sights: The Princess Bride,
Gross Pointe Blank, Monty Python, Say Anything

Sounds: Caedmon's Call, Waterdeep, Jump, Little Children, Peter Gabriel, The Flaming Lips, Neutral Milk Hotel, Old Blind Dogs, The Jeff Greer Band, Jars of Clay, Jason Mraz, Maroon 5, Seven Nations, Dog's Eye View, Legendary Pink Dots, the Gin Blossoms, Del Amitri, and tons and tons more...

Authors: C.S. Lewis, Melanie Rawn, Douglas Adams, Chuck Palahniuk, Patricia Wrede, John Steinbeck, and Stephen Lawhead is rapidly climbing the list...

Interests: Music, reading, writing, singing, and generally being far too solitary for my own good.

Favorite old romance movie: Breakfast At Tiffany's

Favorite smells: Rain, dirt, snow, fresh-cut grass, baby shampoo, mint, garlic, rosemary, basil... pretty much all herbs, and my boyfriend

Favorite holiday: Canada Day

If I was an animal, I'd be a: Penguin. Or kakapo. Some kind of flightless bird.

Marital status: Duh. Spoken for.

Monday, January 10, 2005
(this is from a long time ago, I just realized it was never published. Enjoy!)

"This is why this so-called "Peace movement", they cannot even justify their own name"

As some of you know, I spent the last couple of weeks in NC, keeping my sister-in-law company. You see, my eldest brother is in "military intelligence" (a contradiction in terms to all who are familiar with the Army), and was called into Tikrit on very short notice, and his wife didn't want to be home alone.

When Steven went to Iraq, I understood what that meant, but I just "had a feeling" that he'd be safe. Some Army wives know what I'm talking about. But with David leaving and me spending two weeks in a very highly concentrated area of military families and friends, and getting an ever-clearer idea of what them being over there really means, I'm scared. I stand to lose a lot, all thanks to Saddam and his hatred for me, because of my country.

So you learn to justify everything our men are doing over there. You learn to tell yourself without even thinking about it, "They're there because we need them to be. They're there because they want to serve their country, and help the Iraqi people. They're there, they will come home, and they need to know that we're rooting for them over here." But to do that you need to justify the war -- whoops, I'm sorry, "combat situation", to begin with. This radio clip, sent to me by my Penguin, says it all:

Man, with very thick middle-Eastern accent: How, exactly, will leaving Saddam in power promote peace and justice in Iraq?
Peace-mongering hippie Woman: (Long pause) Um, again, what I need to say is that regime change is an issue for the Iraqi people. How will bombing Iraq promote peace and justice?
Man:I will explain it to you if you will stop playing the ping-pong with my question --
W:How will bombing thousands of people and killing thousands of people--
Radio host: Okay, let him explain. Muhammed, explain how bumbing won't work.
M: Since you are choosing to play ping-pong, and not answer my question, little girl, I will answer yours. There will be civillian deaths in the war. Saddam has killed two million people. There are families in this country who lost 20 or 30 people in one day in a GAS ATTACK by Saddam Hussein, little girl. And I will tell you this: Yes, civillians will die, my cousins will die. Maybe. Allah forbid. But here is a certainty that you do not understand in your simplistic nickleodian diplomacy: Is that you are garaunteed to have civilians die under Saddam. So now you try again to answer my question without playing the ping-pong: How will leaving Saddam in power promote peace and justice in Iraq?
W: (pause) I mean, I guess what people who folks who listen to this show, or who're calling in are saying is that--
M: I am not interested in what folks listening to this show are saying! Can you answer my question, little girl?
W: (laughs)
M: Oh, now you laugh at people dying. You are unable to answer my question, you are a joke.
W: No, what I'm laughing at is that it seems like you need to... um... to personally attack me to make a point. So what I want to say--
R: Okay, okay, Muhammed, let me pose it this way: Andrea, I have the feeling that if you just answer his question, he'll be happy.
W: (laughs)
R: By the way, I'm not baited by the laughter...
M: Y'know, that laughter in the background--
W: Y'know, what I believe is that, bombing and killing people is wrong, and that--
M: You cannot answer the question! You are a joke!
W: What I also believe, is that there are other alternatives. If we can persue peace and justice--
M: You are a joke. I will give you one more try and then I never listen to another word you say, you chirping bird.
W: Okay, and I also think that--
R: How-- how will leaving Saddam in power promote peace and justice in Iraq, Andrea? That's his question, it's really simple, Andrea.
W: And what I'm-- (laugh)
R: You're not answer-- (laugh)
M: Listen to the laughter of this chirping bird! Who can't justify herself!
R: Why is this so hard, Andrea?
W: Y'know, I don't think that calling someone a "little bird" is gonna help address the very serious questions that millions of people are concerned about.
M: You don't address the serious questions!
W: Millions of people are worried about the concequences of a war, okay?
M: No, I am not okay with you not answering the question.
W: Bombing and killing millions of people, and millions of people are worried about increasing security for the people in the United States, and--
R: Sure, sure. We're retreading the same territory, Andrea. But you're not answering his question.
W: (laugh)
R: Andrea, you can continue to gail in laughter, but you have to admit you're not answering his question. It's a simple question.
W: I'm laughing at him calling me a little girl.
R: Well you come off sounding like my 9 year-old neice.
W: It seems like the only focus we can have here, is Saddam Hussein. And the fact is that Iraq--
M: That is the purpose of this war! Do you not understand one thing about anything? That is the focus of this war!
R: Curiously, Andrea, you're still not answering his question. You're talking to a guy from Iraq, and you're telling him that peace and justice will somehow remove the guy who was the reason he had to immigrate here. Is that what you're saying?
W: What I'm saying is that--
M: Now she repeats herself.
W: We can persue peace and justice for the Iraqi people, through international law, through diplomacy--
M: International law has failed us, Andrea!
W: Through pressure, through various, em, initiatives... if we can persue them in North Korea, if we can persue them in Israel and Palestine (Ed. note: Yeah, we're sure doing a great job with that one), and all over the world, we can persue them in Iraq.
M: Can I say one more thing before I must go?
W: And I also...
R: Andrea, Andrea, Muhammed has to go, he's a caller, you've been on for the better part of an hour. Go ahead, Muhammed.
M: I would like to say one more thing, Brian. If you personally end up going to the Gulf, Allah will bless you, because Saddam is scum, and everybody knows this. And for the listeners who hear this, girl, and she thinks I insult her with the term, I do not insult her. Being a little girl is natural. We all start out children, and we learn and grow. But she has no place lecturing me on what will happen in Iraq, or lecturing you. This is why this so-called Peace Movement, they cannot even justify their own name. And I will remind you: If they leave Saddam in power, they gaurantee death. If they remove him, there will be some, but for a short time, and the Iraqi people are ready, and they will welcome the Americans, including if, Allah forbid, Brian Suites goes. So Andrea, do not take it as being an insult as being a little girl, you are simply not ready for the adult world. Thank you, Brian.
R: Thank you, Muhammed. Andrea, what he's refering to is that tomorrow night is my final night here on KBI. I'm being called up by the Army National Gaurd. I was in the first Desert Storm, I pray to God I'm not in a second one. I just wonder, as they say, in ten years, people shake my hand and thank me for their freedom, or will they shake yours? Neither one of us knows.

Whenever I doubt our cause, or think to myself that we need to get our men home now, I listen to that. War is sick. It's terrible. There's not a single person whom I know who would say that war is good or fun or easy. But it's a necessary evil, made necessary by evil men.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005
the young woman

ribbons and bows in her hair
the cross of life on her heart
the ring on her finger so dear
the right words on her mouth

life is what happens behind her back
even though she made the choice
the gift she wanted for herself
given and taken by her own voice

and now they say, "it'll never go away
her past is written on her face
her whole worth is thrown away"
but it's all in her father's hand

cast asside, sad and lonely
the love she needs, flushed out
future foggy, dim, uncertain
no hand on her shoulder

don't let them lie to her
don't let them say she's nothing
don't let them lie to her
don't let them say she's stupid

God doesn't care about the sin she wears
He forgot it before it began
God doesn't care about the shame she bears
He'll replace it with rubies
she's worth more than rubies
"they say, 'this will never go away
it's there branded on your face'
you ain't got no idea of grace
no idea, child

God does not remember, He's forgotten all your sin
God does not remember, never brings it up again
God does not remember, the monsters in your closet do not scare Him
all those skeletons and ghosts
in the graveyard of your soul..."

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
John's here, so I'm busily being... busy. With him. But in a purely kosher way, so please, mom, don't freak out. I'm enjoying myself and thinking a hundred different things.

More later!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
If college is the eater of souls, finals are the destroyer of souls.

Congrats to all who've made it this far without being reduced to shriveled masses, huddled in the corner of your room in the foetal position, muttering something about the impact of pasta on the American revolution. As for those overacheiving jerks who've gotten straight As and are exempt from finals, you are probably Japanese, and should go find the nearest DDR immediately, lest the rest of us stare holes into your heads.

Friday, December 10, 2004
time to name the new faith of the day
and the new rules to live by
i'll just let the wind choose my way
'cause i can't count on me to know why

the proof's all laid out in black and white
but my favorite colour's grey
i see the truth, but no one said it's right
so i ask it to get out of my way

brothers in arms are running away
they're ashamed of the front lines
the war's too harsh, the shrapnel spray
is getting in their eyes

there can't be any shame in leaving
we're all human after all
forgiveness begs for original sin
grace requires a fall

so let it fall, let it fall, it's gonna fall
let it fall all over you

as long as everyone agrees
you can't be in the wrong
you don't know what everyone sees
so you can keep going along

as long as indulgence is kept
party all saturday night
cross yourself, forgive your faults
and you'll be set aright

Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Stolen from

sometimes i believe all the lies so i can do the things i should despise
and every day i am swayed by whatever is on my mind
i hear it all depends on my faith so i'm feeling precarious
the only problem i have with these mysteries is they're so mysterious

and like a consumer i've been thinking if i can just get a bit more
more than my fifteen minutes of faith, then i'd be secure

my faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave
my faith is like shifting sand, so i stand on grace


waters rose as my doubts reign
sandcastle faith is swept away
i found myself standing on your grace
it'd been there all the time

Sunday, November 28, 2004
Hope in the Knowing

Some of you have probably been kind of weirded out that lately, my posts have been song lyrics. I'm drifting towards my second love of music, and it seems to be pouring out of me lately. There are a lot of people in my life hurting right now, and it's humbling and enfuriating and saddening all at once. Experiences in my past are bubbling up at an alarming rate; it's amazing how far down we can push those things we wish least to deal with. So don't worry, I'm still a politigoddess and future savior of the world, I'm just dealing with some stuff in my prefered medium.

The song I'm now working on is (tentatively) titled "Hope in the Knowing," and it's based on something Don Chaffer said during his last show at Jammin' Java, January of 2001 (2000? I don't know, Steve would remember). There are very few distinct things I remember from the show, other than something Don's father said to him. He said, even without the redemption from sin, and even without the promise of Heaven, he would still have no choice but to cling to Jesus, because without that there is no hope for any of us. I remember being so amazed when he said that. How many people believe because they're scared of Hell? How many people believe because they're scared of their friends' opinions of themselves? And yet, there are still those humble few who believe in Jesus for Jesus' own sake, who rely not on the sentiment of every day miracles or the redemption of soul and body, but on the word of the very One who tells us He is that He is. The hope and peace from the knowledge of Jesus and the Father lie not in the Promise of what will be afterward, but in simply knowing them every day. So anyway, it's a work in progress, the fruit of which you may see some time this week.

Happy back to school after a really nice holiday break, everybody.



My Wish List

Hatful of Rain - Del Amitri

The Silver Hand - Stephen Lawhead

I Love My Geek t-shirt

Little Tux t-shirt

Binary clock

Plush Tux

Caffeine blanket

ThinkGeek Caffeine sampler

A case of Jones FufuBerry soda

Real Life t-shirt

Sean Manatee

Airman's Girl t-shirt

"The M1 does my talking for me!" hoodie

Lori Chaffer - 1 Beginning

Rock for Life hoodie

Abortionists love unborn babies raglan

Terror Alert Level

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