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I don't think this needs any kind of hillarious introduction: Cary Coleman on the ballot.
The Worse is my Being Alone
"Aaron, have you ever had a burning in your chest, that made you just want to be free?"
It was a warm afternoon when she asked him this, as they sat on the shore of the sea
Well Aaron just tugged at his hair and he took a very long time to reply
And by the time that he spoke, she'd forgotten she'd asked, and was lost in the clouds of the sky
And he said "Kelly I don't think, I've ever wanted as much, to be free as I've longed to be known
And of the things that I hate, as I look at my life, the worst is my being alone"
The rest of his words he kept from her ears, 'cause he thought she might not understand
She didn't reply, she couldn't figure out how, 'cause the fire in her heart had been fanned
Oh of all the things known that he could have spoken that day, he chose one from deep down inside
Without intending to he'd caused her to confess her false confidence and how she had lied
And she said "Aaron I don't think I've ever wanted as much to be free as I've longed to be known
And of the things that I hate when I look at my life, the worst is my being alone"
And as they headed home, neither of them could speak a word
And they had their own spirits to blame
But at the pulse of the wave, they both turned around, thinking someone was calling their name
Someone was calling their name
I can just hear Cooter scream, the sound of ultimate suffering
It seems they're making a Dukes of Hazzard movie.
Now, before you get all excited (I know I would be!), look at who they want to star in it: Britney Spears, Ashton Kutcher, and Paul Walker. Are we disgusted yet? My favorite part of the article has got to be: "Meanwhile, Britney - in an ongoing quest to ditch her innocent teenybopper image - has stripped off for the latest issue of Elle magazine."
Okay, when did ANYONE think Britney Spears was innocent? Hasn't she basically always been a whore in the eyes of the general populous? For that matter... could they have airbrushed and edited that picture any more? She hardly looks human. Not that I think she is, anyway. Yeeech.
Well I'll be! A phone call for me!
I think I've discovered why I hate the phone. You're held hostage on them. If you don't want to talk to someone in person, you can walk away or make up an excuse or something. But what do you do if you're on the phone? No, seriously, that's not rhetorical, I want to know. What do you do when you're being held hostage on the phone, without being rude?