Be it ever so humble...
Okay, I suck. Every time I'd sit down to write something, my computer would implode or my socks would spontaneously spring a hole or the cat would start throwing up on mom's "brand-new" year-old carpet or I would get distracted by something shiny, but the fact is, I've let you guys down, once again. Please forgive me, and if you can send me three reasons why feminism hurts women, I'll send you a box of home-made, vegan, breast-shaped truffles.
Now... on to the good stuff!
All you need is love
So, Valentine's Day (A.K.A. Single's Appreciation Day) has come and gone another year, and I think it's safe to say this past one has been my best yet. I've tried to not be the kind of "Valentine's Day is evil! There's a reason its abbreviation is 'VD'!" Love stinks! I molest Mexican candies at you!" sort of person, even though I can see that side of the coin. But seriously, people... it's a HOLIDAY. Just like Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus year-round, but still have one special day set aside to pay it special respect and appreciation; and they thank God for Jesus' death and ressurection every day, but still celebrate Easter Sunday as a special way of recognising the deapth and awesomeness of His sacrifice. Unless, of course, they're Mormon, in which case, Happy Nothing Day!
So please, next year... quitcher bitchin' and get your mom a nice card, eh?
One Nation, under Dog
With liberty and justice for Boll Weevils
is just priceless. Everyone with half a brain cell can recognise that PETA is a headless chicken, running around clucking at everything it finds offensive. And, given the choice, they would probably take beef and chicken off the menu "Screw freedom of choice beef! A cow is a living creature!" and instead fund stem cell research and fetal tissue harvesting... because, y'know, we CAN'T test on animals
(they're living creatures, mind you) but testing on dead people is okay.
Um, yeah. Anyway, moving right along...
The fact that they find it a great and wonderful thing that Stripperella is promoting a carrot -- yes, a carrot, stop looking at me like that -- for President should probably raise a few eyebrows and make more than a few people stop and say, "Uh, exactly what ARE those nut-jobs
thinking?" Well, my loyal readers, I'll tell you what they're thinking:
Yup, that's about it.
So now they're attacking the good people of Slaughterville, Oklahoma
. Now I'll be honest, my first thought upon hearing the name of the town was one of disgust. As those who know me best will testify, I love animals, but even animals eat other animals, so why should my love for my cat keep me from eatin' a nice, thick slab of beef lasagna?
Just some "food" for thought.
Like, omigod, it's Dean! *Deanie-bopper scream*
So, Howard Dean is out
. No, wait, he's still in. No, he's definitely out. Or maybe he's still in.
Does even Howard Dean know what's going on in Howard Dean's head?
Just remember folks, this is only February. The politicoaster rolls on!